My soul’s desire

You are my soul’s desire, I was wandering,
Wandering all my days from my Father’s house
From the heights to the depths Love was calling
Calling out to me, just to bring me home.

Lord of the earth, the sea, the sky,
In glory and power
How can it be that I’m Your child
And You are my Father?

(Soul’s Desire, Robin Mark)

Mmmm … I just love this beautiful song! I love the images it evokes in my mind – especially the image of a person wandering. Personally, wandering always makes me think of a forest, although I’m not sure why.

Today at church we were discussing Isaiah 1. In this chapter, God says to the Israelites, “I don’t want your ‘religion’. I don’t want your sacrifices and shows. I want you. I want your love. I want you to respond to My love.” And so easily I can point at the Israelites and say “Look at how wrong you were! Look how you scoffed at God and expected Him to continue to bless you. How could you turn away from Him like that when He had given you so much?”

And then I look at myself.

I feel like this song could be my theme song. I find that although I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants nothing more than for me to feel at home with Him, I still wander. Like the Israelites, I pledge my love and service to Him and in the next breath turn around and walk right out on Him, leaving Him standing there calling after me. And that image makes me sad. He gave up His life for me that I might have a relationship with Him and one moment I say “thank you” and in the next say “see You later.” God promises to wash me clean if I ask it. I ask only for the courage to ask every day for the rest of my life.



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2 responses to “My soul’s desire

  1. I was just reading a book by Henri Nouwen and he was talking about the story of the Prodigal Son. He said the story is about returning to God and his reflection was that his entire life is just one return after another to God. The great thing is God takes us each time – no questions asked. Look at the son’s reason to return – because his dad’s servant were fed well. Not because he was sorry for insulting him by wanting his inheritance early. Not because he was sorry he ran away and wasted all the money.

    And his dad (ie. God the Father) welcomed him without question. I’m glad I can return at any time for any reason.

  2. kimschell

    Thanks for the comment =)

    I can say that I’ve honestly NEVER thought about the prodigal son’s reason for returning. It *does* seem like an awfully lame excuse considering all the injury and insult he did when he left home, eh? Wow.

    Thanks for the perspective – it makes me feel a bit better knowing that at least I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel like a failure, but I also know that God never ever wants me to feel like that and therefore it’s not a thought from Him. So I try to remind myself that I’m definitely NOT the only one who needs to come back to Him again and again!

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